"Attention is the Beginning of Devotion"
This quote came to me so many times last week while spending my days on a beautiful little lake in Wisconsin. It’s been three years since I’ve taken a personal retreat, an annual commitment that somehow slipped away from me these last few years. I’m not sure how I lost track of the importance of this time alone, but I’m so grateful to have had the reminder. In the same way our significant relationships require space and tending, so too does our relationship with ourselves. And it is in that spaciousness that we have the opportunity to find a profound kind of quiet, learn new things about ourselves, and truly follow the current of our own curiosity.
So I decided to create my own yoga/nature/meditation retreat. I wanted to be alone but I also wanted a little structure and support. Spending my mornings and evenings in meditation and dharma talks online with the Insight Meditation Center was absolutely perfect. They helped me turn my lakeside cottage into a true sanctuary!
One of the threads I carried throughout the week was the act of paying attention. Looking out onto Lake Sinissippi, I was transfixed by the pelicans and great blue herons, the outrageous looking mouths of the carp as they slurped up the algae just inches from my feet, and the river otter that walked boldly by me, dragging a fish the size of itself, home for dinner - not once but twice!
There was a quality of awe in the act of paying attention to the beauty around me and that awe turned my attention into a kind of devotion. So it wasn't simply that I was noticing the birds but in how noticed them. Because it’s the layering in of awe and compassion and love that makes the quality of our attention devotional.
And then I sat in meditation, and I noticed the sound of my breath and the sensations in my body, and I noticed that my attention is not always layered in awe and compassion and love. In fact, sometimes it’s layered in judgment and irritation. And sometimes the attention itself wanes, and I am barely in my body at all. I’m wandering off, making plans and engaging with a host of things that aren’t actually happening. And no surprise, that doesn't feel as good! Feeling a deeper kind of attention, one that's infused with compassion is much more satisfying, much more nourishing and does not have to be reserved for otters and cormorants and "beautiful things". In fact, I and we and the sounds in the room and the sensations in the body and the breath flowing in and out, can also be the beautiful things that are worth devoting our attention to. And that turns out to be incredibly nourishing and satisfying as well!
And so our work is to notice that - to bring our awareness back to the present, and to layer that awareness with compassion. Not to scold – just to invite our attention back to the moment – and to over and over attempt to attend to that moment with the same quality of attention, we offer the birds and the sunset and the river otters.
Because "what else should I have done" - and here comes Mary Oliver again:
"Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"
If you would like to explore the HOW of paying attention with me, here are three ways to get started:
Join me and the Your Yoga community for yoga and meditation, 4 days a week. You can practice live on zoom or watch the recordings. Start your 7-day free trial here.
Or reply to this email and let me know if you are interested in joining me on retreat in Spain next March – no commitment – I’m just taking a pulse. You'll find more details here.
And be on the lookout for a future email about an upcoming meditation series this fall. I’m dreaming it up as we speak. If you have a preference between online and in person, reply to this email and let me know.
As always, if I can answer any questions, don't hesitate to reach out. And if we haven't connected in a while, I'd love to hear from you. How are you really doing? I'd love to know!
With so much love and devotionally inspired attention,
Rachel
A couple other ways you can work with me...
If you'd like to work with me one-on-one, I have a few spots available. Reply to this email if you'd like to chat about yoga therapy, personal or professional mentoring or private yoga and meditation instruction.
And you can find all of my online workshops and courses here.