Curiosity: The Antidote to Fear
This email is part-three of a four-part series this month, discussing the effects that mindfulness, yoga and physical therapy can have on decreasing the suffering involved in chronic pain. If you scroll to the end, you'll find a simple guided meditation to support you in dealing with physical discomfort.
In our first email, my colleague and friend, Katey Blumenthal and I shared a snippet about the the science of pain. And last week, we talked about the difference between 1st and 2nd arrows - a buddhist teaching on suffering. Today we want to add curiosity to the mix.
***If you know someone who experiences chronic pain, please forward this email. Or if you'd prefer, reply with their email and I'd be happy to reach out to them.
What I've noticed, both personally and in my work with students, is that so much of what is difficult about pain is the unknown. When I know that my pain will end, it's not such a big deal, but when the duration or scale is uncertain, fear arises, and that fear can actually increase my pain. For example, if I stub my little toe - which sometimes feels like I've just ripped it off my foot!!! - I'm in a lot of pain, but I don't suffer much. I make lots of hilarious sounds and I get super dramatic, and sometimes even make myself laugh as I do it. It hurts a lot, but I know it's going to pass and so I don't start creating the kinds of stories about the pain that lead to more suffering. But if I have a pain that's less familiar and I don't know when it's gong to end, it may hurt less than the stubbed toe, but it's scarier and I suffer more.
Enter curiosity. Curiosity is the antidote to fear!!! It brings in interest and exploration and a mindset of possibility.
Here's a fun example from Katey....
What is it?
Pain. It’s just Pain.
Can you describe where it is?
Across my lower back.
Does it have specific borders?
No, it’s more diffuse. It’s really bad – it’s worse sitting here.
Can you characterize that pain?
Throbbing. But, in a burning way.
Have you ever felt something cause a similar feeling?
Well, it’s kind of like when my body heats up from a cold plunge. Or when I have icy hot on my back.
Does warming up from a cold plunge or icy hot bother you?
No. Those sensations feel good – they’re soothing.
What’s different about this sensation?
I guess it feels surprising. Not in my control. And it scares me that it comes from my back, and I won’t be able to move around if it worsens. I’m scared to move around too much because I don’t want it to make me stop moving.
Focus on the icy hot throbs. Can you move with them? Can you stand up and walk around the room?
Yes.
What happens when you walk around the room with them?
Well, at first I notice the throbbing increases, but now it's going away as I move more.
Instead of pain, what would it mean to call this, “the icy hot sensation”?
I wouldn’t be afraid of icy hot. I wouldn’t be as afraid to move.
In other words, when you bring curiosity instead of fear to your sensations, your experience of the sensations may change. Or like in last week's email, you are taking control of your second arrows, replacing them with a more open versus fixed mindset. So curiosity changes our relationship to pain and even the pain itself.
In our upcoming course, we'll explore techniques to work with this.
And in next week's email, we'll share more about the role of compassion, another tool we'll use in February's course. If you are in the Salt Lake Valley, I hope you'll join us.
And if you live elsewhere but would like support around your chronic pain, please reply to this email. I'd love to chat with you about it.
Depower Your Pain With The Best of Mindfulness, Yoga, and Physical Therapy
In-person only, Wednesday, February 5, 12, 19 & 26, 9:30-11am (MST)
In the 9th and 9th area
If you missed last week's email, and you'd like a simple guided meditation to explore how to change your perspective of pain, tension or discomfort, click here!
If I can answer any questions, don't hesitate to reach out.
And if you know someone in the Salt Lake area, who might benefit from the February course, please forward the info to them.
Sending so much love your way.
Rachel