The How and Why of Self-Compassion
I recommend that today you take 5 (or 10 or 20 or even a whole day) for self-compassion. If you'd like to get right to it, feel free to scroll down and click on the 6 minute audio meditation or keep reading to learn the why and the how.
As we explore self-compassion in Your Brain on Mindfulness this week, I am reminded of how turning towards our suffering with warmth and friendliness absolutely makes all the difference. Think of how helpful it is when a friend or partner says something like, “I totally feel you and I’m here” or, “Honey, you are doing your best and everything is going to be okay”.
Now imagine if there weren’t voices inside your own head that said, “you’re not doing enough and you need to be better”, and instead you felt an invisible hand on your shoulder or the back of your heart and heard, “I love you and I’m with you here”.
Insert, big sigh of relief. Wouldn’t all things be more easeful and enjoyable that way?
The Why
Aside from the obvious wonderment of really being on your own side, self-compassion is one of the most effective ways to:
Turn off your fight/flight/freeze response
Stop ruminating and lower anxiety
Build self-esteem and self-care
Feel loved and supported
The How
Take a few minutes to try this simple 3-step process:
Settle in: Mindfulness begins when we notice what’s happening in our body, mind, and brain. We pay attention to the sensations in our bodies, we acknowledge the thoughts, emotions and images that are present and we notice what’s happening in our nervous system (are we calm, connected and engaged with the moment or in fight, flight or freeze). This body of awareness is essential because self-compassion begins with a dose of empathy and understanding and by gathering all of this information, we notice any suffering or discomfort we are holding.
Self-friendliness: Once we are aware of our present moment experience, we can begin to add a quality of friendliness - a message of, oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry you are suffering - I can really feel how difficult that is for you. Or maybe we pause to feel that imaginary hand on the back of our hearts that says, why don’t you take a minute for yourself here - is there anything you need right now? Self-friendliness is a practice of asking that part of you that always has a kind word for someone else to turn inwards.
Self-compassion: We sit with a deep desire or intention. We may create a mantra or affirmation that holds our greatest wish for ourselves - may I be free from suffering, may I feel deep joy, may I feel deeply connected - whatever is authentic for you in the moment. Then repeat that mantra to yourself while enjoying a relaxed and satisfying breath. If mantras aren’t your thing, just place a hand on your heart and consider what would be soothing in the moment. You might focus on an image that feels comforting or a place or sensation in your body that offers a feeling of safety, support or connection.
In short, settle in, invite in a feeling of self-friendliness and warmth, and a deep desire to care for yourself and alleviate your own suffering.
If you’d like to practice this with me, click on the audio link below and “take 5 for compassion”. And if you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out. I'd love to hear from you.
Wishing you an abundance of warmth and kindness today.
Rachel
Audio practice - Take 5 for Self-Compassion
P.S. If you’d like to practice yoga and meditation with me and a wonderful group of humans, try a free week of Your Yoga: A Virtual Community or scroll down and check out my other offerings.
Offerings and Ways to Connect:
Your Yoga: A Virtual Community - this the sweetest online community ever. We practice on zoom 4 times a week (vinyasa, restore and meditation) and all classes are recorded. You can get started with a free one-week trial.
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Virtual Coffee Date - I'd love to say hi. Reply to this email and let me know if you'd like to chat or just sign up here!
Your Brain on Mindfulness: 8 Weeks to Dissolve Stress, Build Resilience & Thrive begins Feb 2022. Click here to join the pre-registration list for updates and a special course discount.
Southern Spain Retreat: Yoga + Nature + Culture
June 27 - July 3, 2020
Save the date - details coming soon!