A Thanksgiving “Anchor Memory”
The Spanish don’t celebrate Thanksgiving so we pretended it was last Saturday. We were the crazy Americans that walked into a pollería and pre-ordered a turkey. We managed to get a 6 kilo bird and after 3 trips to different markets I finally found the fried onions that are essential for my midwestern green bean casserole. We shared a 5 hour meal with another family in true Spanish/American style.
At the end of the meal, what I was left with was a kind of contentment or happiness that you can't get from food (not even from the absolute best pumpkin pie I've ever tasted in my life). It was the feeling that is born of gratitude. Because it's gratitude that makes us happy - not the other way around. That's right, we're not grateful because we're happy. We're happy because we're grateful. And here's a pro-tip: Paying attention to the moment-to-moment beauty in your life will move the happiness needle more than your "top 5 things to be grateful for" list. That list is wonderful but you also have to actually feel the gratitude, not just acknowledge it and walk away.
So this Thanksgiving, in addition to acknowledging the big things - your family, your job, your home - spend more time with the small things. Pay attention to the sensory experience of what you love. As you make your way through your day, notice the textures, images, smells, tastes and sensations that nourish you and contribute to your well-being. Name them, take them in, notice the ways they make you feel good and then focus on that goodness. Let the taste of the cardamon and ginger in your pumpkin pie, or the smell of the fresh sage, thyme and rosemary, or the bodily sensation of being loved and of loving, nourish you. Take a few breaths and imagine that goodness spreading through your body.
Feel free to pause here and give it a try. What beauty might be right under your nose?
One of my personal highlights from last Saturday was of everyone coming back to the table to watch the vacuum coffee maker do its thing. We spent about 10 minutes watching it while the kids tried to figure out what processes made this thing work. It was more than a teaching moment. It was a shared experience that brought us all back to the table in a fully present way. I loved observing the simple beauty of watching the coffee rise into the upper chamber and then fall back down. I loved the curve of the delicate coffee cup and how it felt in my hand. I loved the excitement around the table as the kids figured out how it worked. I loved the taste of the coffee and the warmth in my chest as I drank. And I loved how connected I felt to the moment and to each individual at the table. And as I felt all of that, I knew it would be my anchor memory to this Thanksgiving. The memory that would hold all of the goodness of the day and would anchor me back to "my Thanksgiving in Cuenca, Spain". And that's a memory I can now call on when I need a zap of happiness, a boost of contentment, or a little warmth in the back and the front of my heart. As I write about it right now, that goodness is coming back to me such that I get to re-experience it and allow it to nourish me again and again.
Here's a link to a gratitude meditation I filmed in Costa Rica a couple of years ago. Before you go to sleep tonight or sometime this weekend, consider joining me to pull up your own "anchor memory". Maybe you'll call up a moment that you barely noticed at the time but when you revisit it, it turns out to be gold.
And just in case your not convinced...
People with a daily gratitude practice:
Consistently experience more positive emotions
Are more likely to reach personal goals
Feel more alert, enthusiastic and alive
Sleep better - which can lead to lower anxiety
Have lower blood pressure
Are less depressed
And so much more....
I want you to know that I am truly grateful for you and for this writing practice. These early morning writings grow my own happiness and leave me feeling more optimistic about the day and more content with my life. Thanks so much for creating that opportunity for me. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
So much love,
Rachel